Prayer Concern

Hello friends and family. Things have gotten a little better, but I have a prayer concern. I was just informed today that there is trouble with my nursing license. I thought everything was sorted out, but I guess not. It shouldn't be a problem, but the state of New Hampshire has some crazy rules that I don't understand. Apparently they would rather I lie and say that I still have a New Hampshire address instead of telling them the truth that I live in Africa and that I am using my parent's address for my mail. I don't know why I need an address in New Hampshire to have a New Hampshire license, but that doesn't matter. Either way, I need a license to practice nursing in Africa and I need this license before I get to Africa and more importantly I need it all sorted out before March 12th, my birthday, because if it isn't sorted out before then, things could get really expensive and messy. Prayers appreciated. Also, I have become mosquito meat... I just counted 26 bites on my right ankle alone... It isn't entirely pleasant. Love you guys.... I am okay, by the way.

Emotionally spent.. No better place to be...

Departure time was set for 0300 hours. I considered going to bed, but after finishing loads of laundry and stuffing my material possessions into a suit case once again, there was no point in going to bed. Instead, I chose to sit on the couch with a few of my Gateway friends and family. We met merely four weeks ago, but have shared a lifetime´s worth of experiences. Can it be time to say good-bye already?Quiet out of character for me, I looped my hands through my friend´s arm and just sat next to him. Barely saying a word, I just held onto his closeness. Maybe an attempt at wanting to feel like everything isn´t slipping away and changing again... Fast forward 14 hours. I stepped off an airplane and was greeted with a blast of hot, humid, island air; an oddly refreshing feeling. Bienviedas a la Dominican Republic! I cannot believe I am in another place again. The fast furry and travel of the past few months has finally caught up with me. In the last few months, I have been in Africa, Idaho, the dentist, New Hampshire, the hospital, Idaho, the dentist, Montana, the dentist, the dentist again, Louisiana, surgery, Texas, and now the Dominican Republic. I am having a small mental brain and heart attack. The emotions of the past few weeks, intensity of travel, and my health concerns have caused me to now ¨freak out.¨ I could use your prayers to say the least. I know God called me to change my plans and come to the Dominican to show love to these people, if only for a short time, but holy cow! My mind, body, energy, and soul are having trouble keeping up with the tasks God calls me to. I am confident that everything I do is in his strength, so I know it will be okay. There is no way anything I am doing here is in my strength because I feel so weak. I need the strength, desire, and passion to continue giving when I feel I have nothing left to give. I will keep you updated, but for now... I am in a new country, meeting new people, sleeping with cockroaches, emotionally spent, in need of prayer, and in the center of God´s will... no better place to be. I love all of you.

Travels

Off to the Dominican Republic... prayers appreciated. Will be in touch. Later!

A Slight Detour

Plans, most of you know what plans are. We plan for this and that to happen and we are often upset if things do not go as we originally planned. Over the last few years, I have learned to be flexible with my plans, knowing things could change at any moment. Why all this talk about plans? Well, I want you to know some of my plans are changing; I am taking a slight detour. In December, I was signed up to go on an optional trip to the Dominican Republic with the Gateway crew for a short Mercy Ministry Outreach before returning to Africa. When I was blessed with a second episode of kidney stones, I thought to myself, “What in the world am I doing? I am running around too much! I will be completely exhausted by the time I return to Africa and I will not have anything left to give!” I also thought, “My goodness, I cannot spread myself too thin. I still love the Spanish culture and language and what if I go to the Dominican and don’t want to leave and go back to Africa? And oh dear, I need to let go of Spanish and start focusing on French!” I discussed my concerns with trusted friends and family and decided to pull out of the trip. I emailed the Gateway leaders and told them to remove my name from the outreach list. I felt 100% at peace with my decision and was pleased with my decision until last week. Last week, the Outreach leader announced the group size to the Dominican was extremely small, there were still a few reserved tickets on the airplane, and there was one last chance to join the group. My heart fluttered inside and I began to wonder if I should join the team. I was feeling pulled in two directions. I knew if I went to the Dominican Republic, I would miss screening day in Benin. Screening is the official beginning to the Benin 2009 Outreach and it is the day when the multitudes come meet the Mercy Ships medical doctors and crew in hopes of getting a surgical appointment. It is an incredible day, so I am told. But, despite how amazing screening day is, I felt God was possibly telling me to go to the Dominican instead. I did not want to make this decision on my own, so I asked God to clearly show me what His will was. The day after the announcement was made in class, we had a scheduled 6 hour silent retreat. I decided I would seek God’s direction during the silent retreat. Our entire Gateway class left early in the morning and headed to a local national park. We set off in silence, agreeing to meet again in about 6 hours. The thought of being completely silent (and awake during that silence) for 6 hours freaked me out. I was frightened by the concept of silence. We were encouraged to leave all religious books and music behind. We could bring a notebook and our Bible, but that was it. Many of us in society and the church today report we cannot hear God and we have come to believe that he doesn’t talk to us anymore. But, in reality often there is so much NOISE around, even positive noise such as music and faith-based books that we cannot hear God speak, therefore a silent retreat. I walked around a beautiful lake and reflected on the beauty surrounding me. My head was full of thoughts and I kept saying, “Where are you God? I cannot hear you!” Then I realized that I needed to just be silent and wait. To make a long story short, I believe God confirmed in my heart that I should go to the Dominican. When I was praying and contemplating sticking to my original plan and going directly to Africa after Gateway, a scripture verse jumped into my head directing me otherwise. My main objection to going to the Dominican was my belief that I would not have the physical strength to handle another adventure before heading back to Africa. During the silent retreat, God assured me over and over that “when I am weak, He is strong” and “I can do all things through His strength!” Okay, so you may think I am a freak, but we already know that! Either way, I met God in a special way during the silent retreat and I am going to the Dominican Republic! I will be in Texas until February 14th. Then I fly to the Dominican Republic to share God’s love with the people living in Aguas Negras. We have the exciting opportunity to work with local churches, play with kids, hug babies, work on community developmental projects, and spend extended periods of time in the local schools teaching whatever we feel God lays on our hearts! I will return from the Dominican earlyMarch and fly to Benin, West Africa via Paris, mid-March ! Am I disappointed or frustrated that my plans have changed? No way! My main desire and plan in life is to be in the center of God’s will and for the time being, I believe His will is taking me on a trip to the Dominican Republic to love His people there and I am excited that I just might get the chance to hug and kiss some caramel babies on this detour.

Assaulted Brain

“What exactly is Laura doing in Texas? I am confused. I thought she was going back to Africa to live on a ship where she volunteers as a nurse. So, what is with this trip to Texas?” I am sure many of you may be wondering what exactly I am doing in Texas. As I pile on layer after layer of tank-tops, my one sweatshirt, and borrowed coat, before I walk across the campus for class, I wonder what I am doing here, too! It is so cold here! Long ago, we established geography and basic knowledge has never been my strong points, but seriously I did not think it got cold in Texas! I know it is January but, seriously; ice storms and freezing temperatures in Texas, what the heck? Okay, besides freezing I have been keeping an intensely, busy schedule, most of which includes having my brain assaulted daily in the classroom. I am in Texas living on the campus of the International Operations Center for Mercy Ships. I am enrolled in a Mercy Ships course called Gateway. This course is four weeks long, with the purpose of educating and preparing long-term ship crew to adjust to living on the ship. The course focuses on different aspects of life as a volunteer with Mercy Ships. For example, we cover topics such as living in community, cross-cultural ministry, serving effectively, communication skills, interpersonal growth and development, worldview, basic safety training, and a few other intense subjects. There are 30 of us enrolled in the January term of Gateway. Between the 30 of us in the course, we represent at least 6 different countries. We range in age from 18-mid 60’s. We all have unique jobs and professions. Our class is very diverse. We have a few military personal, a registered nurse anesthetist, receptionist, multiple nurses, teachers, an electrician, an engineer, a hair dresser, deck crew, and video and communication techno wizards, among our group. Our background differences do not matter, which is awesome. We are all united under the passion of serving and loving the poor and needy, in Jesus’ name. The focus of this week has been on interpersonal development, personality, and Principles to Live By. Oh, joy! There is nothing like taking eight hours a day, three days straight, to evaluate your personality and how it influences your choices and the world around you. There have been many moments during class this week when I felt like I was on a Doctor Phil or Oprah show getting grilled and motivated to get my act together. Funny how when we evaluate ourselves, we normally have a variety of positive traits, but the negative traits get our focus. And our short comings replay over and over in our mind like a broken record. What does all of this study have to do with me volunteering as a nurse in Africa? Well, when we work with people on the ship in Africa, we are not only aiming to fix temporary health concerns, but we are serving to change lives for eternity. People who don’t know who they are, their purpose, or what life is about, cannot teach others, therefore; the brain draining study and pondering of life’s big questions. “Who am I? Why am I here? Where am I going? What guides my journey? Where am I right now? How am I going to get there? When am I going to start?” This week of class has been painful to some extent and intense to say the least, oh blessed “growing pains”. It is a mighty big project to answer all the previously mentioned questions. It takes some people years to answer one of those questions and for some; their entire lifetime. We have also worked on developing personal mission statements and our life vision. Another sobering exercise that is highly effective in promoting self-analysis is writing your own eulogy. Are you getting the picture of why my brain hurts? We have been encouraged to make the most of every day, to live life on purpose, and to live life by design. My head and heart hurt, but they hurt good! I wish I could somehow convey everything that we are discussing here. But, I won’t bore you with that, but I will leave you with a few points to ponder that have really impacted me this week. Although some of you think I am super intelligent, I cannot take credit for the quotes/phrases below. I am not sure who wrote them and I would hate to plagiarize on my blog, therefore; someone wiser than I said the following. “…The Platinum rule: Treat others the way they would prefer to be treated…” “…Be careful that you don’t let perfect become the enemy of good…” “…Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you because of what you did to me…” “…Discipline is choosing to be governed by true thoughts; not feelings…” Be blessed! I love all of you! My eyes remain the same. My right eye is wonderful; my left eye did not get corrected completely and remains blurry. But an under correction is better than an over correction, which could have required a cornea transplant. For the time being, I am wearing glasses again. In the future, I may have another surgery on my left eye. Take care!

My Schedule

Things here are intense! I am in class every day from 8:00am- 3:30pm. We take an hour for lunch, but otherwise we are in the lecture hall studying an incredible array of topics. Then we often have a small group for an hour, dinner, then more lectures. The lectures are extremely amazing and challenging. The majority of the challenge is in grasping the huge topics we are discussing, but there is the small challenge of remaining alert and awake for the class time. In just the last two days we have covered topics such as: "Who is God?", "What is wrong with the world?" "The common views of God, 'Santa Clause,' 'The Dictator,' 'The Father Figure,' 'An Abstract Force,' 'The Shepherd,' or an 'Old Man.'" We have also talked about truth.. or if there is even anything really true. You get the picture. We are dealing with intense topics. And during this entire process, I am still struggling to see clearly. My right eye is perfect, but my left eye is still blurring. I wish I had time to write more, but I need to complete my nightly homework. I would appreciate your prayers. My mind and heart are being stretched, I love the challenge, but no growth is easy. More later.

The Prophetic Taxi Driver

Exhausted from a busy work week, my friend, Doctor Susie, decided it would be best if she slept in and had a cab transport me to the airport for my flight out to Texas. Susie arranged for a cab to pick me up in New Orleans at 6:30 am. Susie had the cab ride all arranged for me before I could even attempt to reject the idea. My main concern was the cost of the cab fee and my lack of funds, considering my current job has great benefits, but they are "out of this world" and at this time, I pay TO work. Susie hugged me good-bye, told me the cab fee was only $30.oo, for a 15-minute drive ( I almost choked), and then she jumped into bed. I continued packing my belongings hoping to soon hit the hay myself. But, being slightly concerned about detail, I checked my cash stash. $21.00 is all I found. Shoot... I started to panic. I had no more cash, Susie was fast asleep, I was no where near an ATM, and I was guessing the cab driver wouldn't want one of my nice little checks from a bank in Idaho. I grabbed the phone book and saw that the cab company took visa. I thought that was odd, so I called the company to double check. Sure thing. They accepted visa. No worries. The next morning the cab driver was prompt and on time. We started our short journey to the airport. The cab driver was friendly and very talkative. Out of politeness, I asked him if he just started his shift. He reported he had been working all night long and was actually the dispatcher that took my friend's call requesting the early AM pick-up for me. He said all the other drivers were busy that morning, but he knew I was a young lady that needed to get to the airport, so he agreed to drive me even though his shift was over. After he made that comment, I had some really stupid thoughts, results of watching too many creepy movies. I thought he was scary and going to eat me with gumbo or hurt me. I was thinking.. um, that is why I wanted my friend to take me to the airport in the first place... Coming back to reality, the stupid thoughts left and we continued chatting. The taxi drive found out I was a volunteer in Africa and he thought it was really admirable. He then started spouting off an amazing array of philosophical quotes and facts. I couldn't believe, that he was attempting to discuss philosophy at such an early hour, but a lot of what he was saying made sense. I was actually impressed and touched by many of the topics he discussed. After awhile, I was beginning to wonder how much longer it could take to reach the airport. Although the taxi driver's conversation was interesting; I was tired and it was 6:40am! I was politely nodding to his comments, but starting to zone out. Then he looked me in the eye through his rear view mirror and caught my attention. He said, “Young lady, I sense that sometime in your youth, your teenage years, someone broke your trust and it has been hard for you to trust ever sense then. I sense you are angry with yourself regarding this situation. It wasn’t your fault for trusting, you feel horrible about it, but so does the person that hurt you. And now, you struggle with trust. You build up walls that are not easy to get through. Those walls will cause you to miss out." I cannot even really recall what else the man said, but I was so shocked by his words and the accuracy of his statement. This man had never met me and had no way of knowing something so personal to me. But, in some manner he was speaking directly to my heart. No, I haven't been sitting around hurt and lonely because of this past, broken trust, but some of his message really rang true. He then went on the say this quote: “Don’t let anger, bitterness, or resentment keep you from reason, logic, good judgment and a thing called love. “ New Orleans Taxi Driver I still do not know why that quote has impressed me so much. But, I think it is very applicable for everyone. I think there are tiny nuggets of truth that we can learn from it. It doesn't have to apply to only male and female relationships, but can apply to any relationship. Maybe it could also apply to our concept and opinion of God. Either way, I have been thinking about the truth of this statement and the fact that we need to attempt to let things of the past be past. We cannot let the past "spoiled attempts at love" taint our vision of God's truest, purest, love. Okay, I know I am not a philosophy major, so I will move on. The taxi driver finally pulled up to the airport and reported the cab fee was $30. I said, "you take visa, right?" He looked at me like I was an alien, no way did they take visa. I felt horrible, I said, but I even called the company last night and confirmed that you take visa. He assured me that was never their policy or action. I said, "but I don't have enough cash." He replied, "how much you got?" Embarrassed, I reported, "$21.00." He said, "sounds perfect." I was still distraught and he said, "Darling, why you feelin' bad?" Obviously, it was because I didn't have the proper payment for the cab fare and I didn't want to cheat the man. He said, "don't feel bad, $21.00 is great for me!" I handed him all the cash I had. Thanked him for the ride and one more time he said: “Don’t let anger, bitterness, or resentment keep you from reason, logic, good judgment and a thing called love." I believe that New Orleans taxi driver knows God. If he does not, I still believe God used him to speak to me and bless me. I had thought $30.00 was a steep cab fare and I ended up only having to pay $21.00 So, I didn't get a Louisiana swamp tour, or a chance to visit the Voo Doo Costume shop, but I believe I met a prophetic taxi driver. Crazy as that may sound, it fits in perfect with the crazy city of New Orleans. But, after all there is never any place on earth too crazy for God to find us and speak to us!

On the Road Again

Just the other day I was out for a drive with a friend. I was taking in the scenic view and enjoying some educational reading: the local billboards. It is always interesting reading the random messages plastered on North American billboards from desperate advertisers, looking to capture your attention in hopes of making a buck. But, there was something different about these billboards. I read signs advertising scrumptious "Fried Pickles," "Po-Boys," the "Voo Doo Costume Shop," "and "Swamp Tours!" At this point, I realised I wasn't in "Kansas" anymore. Make that, I wasn't in Kansas, New Hampshire, or Idaho anymore. I was in a new land. A land of gumbo, red beans and rice, and alligators! I had arrived in New Orleans! I don't know what my first clue was that I was no longer in a familiar land, but I can tell you I ain't never seen a drive-through daiquiri shop! This place is crazy! A few hours earlier I had said good-bye to my parents and friends in Idaho. I had boarded a plane, travelled across America, and arrived in the foreign country of Louisiana. It is a different world down here. Everyone has a swamp mobile, the confederacy lives on, and I have already met someone named Bobby-Boo Shay. Just kidding. Either way, I am on the road again. Stop one... Louisiana.. for a free Lasik eye surgery. Services donated by my dear friend Doctor Susie, whom I met aboard the Mercy Ship. Again, as with my first root canal, God blessed me with extreme exhaustion and therefore, very limited anxiety pre-operation. I even fell asleep in the waiting room. I was the last case of the day and therefore would have had plenty time to freak out and become highly anxious, but instead, God used my emotional and physical exhaustion from running around the past month and a half, to provide me with a calm for my upcoming surgery. God is good. His ways sure aren't our ways. but go God! I felt a small tap on my shoulder and a kind nurse escorted me to the pre-treatment room where I was given 15mg of Valium, a medication with the purpose of sedation and relaxation. Apparently, I am a light weight. The nurses couldn't believe my response to the medication. The medication is intended to calm a person, not knock them out. Either way, per report from the doctors and nurses, I was one of the best patients they ever had. I didn't move one inch. And I was afraid the doctor would yell at me, tell me to quit wiggling my legs, and have to tie me down to the table! Not the case here. The surgery took about 15 minutes and the medical team had to practically carry me back to the post-operative recovery room. It has now been three days since my surgery. I am proud to tell you I am writing this note myself and I can basically see the computer screen without difficulty. Things are a little blurry in my left eye, but I am praying that gets better. I have obtained 20/20 vision in my right eye. My left eye is 20/30 or something like that. Hopefully, it will get better. If not, I may need to wear one contact. The doctor said my case was extremely difficult because of the severity of my nearsightedness. My eyes were bad. We are talking, if my glasses were off, I couldn't read my alarm clock without picking it up, letting it hit my nose, then the numbers came into focus. Trying to look at myself in the mirror without my glasses was out of the question. My vision has greatly improved, but I am hoping for fast, total healing. I would sure appreciate your prayers toward that end as well. Tomorrow, I say good-bye to the land of blackened this and that, jazz music, crazy parties, and damage from hurricane Katrina. I am on my way to Texas! Y'all make sure you come back now and visit my blog for more updates!

Transition

I stood in the shower today, far longer than two minutes, and let the water rush around me. My thoughts almost as many as the drops of water flowing over me. Thoughts running faster than I can process. It seems I have traveled the world and back, which I have, but daily my thoughts travel millions of miles in an attempt to process everything. I was in Africa… I really was… It was only 3.5 weeks ago, but seems like an eternity. I was in Idaho… the place I have lived the longest, out of all the places I have lived. My home??? I am not sure where my home is anymore. I sat in the dental chair days after returning from Africa and I think I made history, falling asleep during a root canal procedure. God answers our prayers in amazing ways. I spent Thanksgiving with my family and one of the only African families, I know of, in the state of Idaho. It was a blessing to have some of my African brothers and sisters around. There are so many white people in America! It is a shock! I flew across America to New Hampshire to my most recent home prior to living on the ship in Africa. But, is this my home? I don’t know… I am realizing more and more that this world is not my home… My true home is in Heaven. The word "cold" isn’t adequate to describe the chill that ran through my bones as I took my first step outside the Manchester Airport. I suppose it would have helped if I was wearing shoes instead of flip-flops. The piles of snow scattered about reminded me one of my first projects would be to dig through my storage items to find some snow pants and boots! Fully clothed in one of my African dresses, snow boots, gloves, and my winter coat, I drove the old familiar road toward Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center, my previous employer. Dartmouth is an absolutely incredible hospital, it employees over 6,000 people, and until this week, I was one of them. It was emotional walking through my old nursing unit and seeing everyone. It was great to be warmly welcomed back by my colleagues. It was fun sharing stories with them and laughing about the differences of nursing in Africa and in the United States. I relished in their attention and compliments for how the African lifestyle and clothing suit me. I agree with them and it is complex to comprehend leaving the States again to pay to volunteer in Africa. It is complex, but I am 100% sure it is what I want to do and what God has called me to do. It was like Christmas morning as I opened all my boxes stored in my friend’s basement. It was exciting digging in box after box and being reunited with my old teddy bears, winter clothes, and other small treasures. At the same time, I cried thinking of my selfishness and inner turmoil over wanting to keep my belongings for if and when I return to America, but not really needing any of the items in that spacious basement. During the last eight months, I lived in a shoebox, had one small, small closet, and I did not miss one of the items in the pile I was standing in. I was content. But… "what if I want this in the future…well, Laura, it isn’t practical to keep taking your friend’s space and storing items people could really use when you aren’t using them…but… I will need it if I come back…but, not within the next year… but I could use the money if I sold the items…but my time here is limited and who wants to come to a yard sale in a snow bank?" My head was about to explode. Being reunited with my West Lebanon Baptist Church family was superb. During the beginning of the service we prayed for someone to buy my car. Moments later, during the "meet and greet" time, two people reported interest in my car. PRAISE GOD! A few days later I sold my car! I cried tears of joy for God’s provision of providing a buyer, but tears of recognition, that my current life in America is slipping away. I enjoyed a busy day full of reunions and great conversation with treasured friends. Tired and blessed, I traveled to Sharon, Vermont, where I am staying with one of my "adopted families." Upon getting ready for bed, I was literally struck with lightening, intense, pain near my right kidney. I grabbed the phone to call my mom and dad in Idaho, like they could help from 3,000 miles away. In tears of agony, I rolled on the floor squeezing the life out of a borrowed teddy bear. I vomited related to the immense pain surging through my back. It was decided I should head to the emergency room, the kidney stones were probably back. I vomited off and on during the 25-minute drive to the hospital, my "adopted" mom doing her best to comfort me. The physical pain intensified and I was full of inner pain knowing the hospital bill was going to be HUGE and my health insurance status is mostly non-existent. I attempted to remind myself, "God owns all the money in the world and he can afford this bill." After a lethal dose of narcotics, the pain was almost gone. I had been in the emergency room for 5 hours and the doctors said I could go home. I called another friend from church to pick me up and arranged to stay at their house in town, considering my "adopted mom" had to work in the morning and she had left the ER around 2:30am. My friend, a true servant, picked me up, drove me to the pharmacy to get a slew of expensive drugs, and then helped tuck me in at 4:30 am for a fitful, painful night of sleep. Days later and many glasses of water later, some of the stones passed. I had numerous diagnostic tests and appointments with the doctors at Dartmouth. The current status: CT scan shows no more stones needing to pass at this time, but multiple stones in the early stages of formation. Nothing needs to be done at this time. The stones I gave the doctor are being analyzed to determine the root cause of this issue and the next plan of care. Am I going back to Africa? Yes! Brain tumors don’t get me down, so a little patch of kidney stones isn’t gonna stop me either! It just would be nice if the stones would leave me alone. Prayer request: The hospital bill for one of the tests was $6,000 USD alone. My God is big, but my faith is sometimes small, small. My heart is hurting trying to figure out where I am going to get the money needed for these bills. I am working with Dartmouth to get them to understand my current status. It is not like I am unemployed, or lazy, and wanting a free handout. I work for the King of Kings and my benefits are out of this world and it isn’t payday yet! I achieved a status of being kidney-pain free, but my tooth, on the other hand, "Oh, danger!" The Idaho root canal was supposed to take care of my dental pain. I should not be waking up at night with dental pain. The dentist even gave me antibiotics, there should not be infection-causing pain. What the heck? In God’s timing and plan I connected with a local dentist that is a believer in God and he miraculously got me an emergency appointment with an endontist (a special root canal dentist, it normally takes months to get in to see them). When I was leaving for my appointment, I found a large sum of cash in my purse. It had to have been put there by my Bible study group that I had shared my experiences with a few nights prior. But, why hadn’t I seen it before? I put it in a safe place and thanked God for this huge blessing and provision! After the endontist played with a flame and fire around my tooth, it was determined the wrong tooth had been worked on. The dentist on the ship did his best to diagnosis the pain in my tooth. The pain was confusing, referring to another tooth, the x-rays he interpreted were clear, the real culprit tooth, appeared fine and he didn’t have the technology available to put fire on the roots of my tooth to determine the source of infection. The ship dentist had drilled the suspected infected tooth and put an antibiotic in it, which meant the dentist is Idaho had to finish the work on that tooth, therefore not thinking to consider another tooth as the issue. After touching my tooth with fire and causing me to jump from the chair, the endontist said I needed another root canal. I started crying and the dentist asked if I was in pain. I reported "no, but I don’t know where I am going to get the money to pay for this. I pay to volunteer as a nurse in Africa." The dentist handed me a tissue and said, "I’ll be back to start the procedure in a few minutes." Man alive! I am kicking myself for not taking better care of my teeth when I was small. Miraculously, the money I found in my bag was the exact cost of the root canal, but that money was for my trip, not my health concerns. God is in control. As you can tell, I am full of emotion, thoughts, and stories. The following is the lyrics to a song called God is God by Steven Curtis Chapman. This song is a comfort to me and expresses some of what I cannot form into written word. I will keep you posted. Thanks for your prayers and endless encouragement.

God is God by Steven Curtis Chapman

And the pain falls like a curtain On the things I once called certain And I have to say the words I fear the most I just don’t know

And the questions without answers Come and paralyze the dancer So I stand here on the stage afraid to move Afraid to fall, oh, but fall I must On this truth that my life has been formed from the dust

God is God and I am not I can only see a part of the picture He’s painting So I’ll never understand it all For only God is God

And the sky begins to thunder And I’m filled with awe and wonder ‘Til the only burning question that remains Is who am I

Can I form a single mountain Take the stars in hand and count them Can I even take a breath without God giving it to me He is first and last before all that has been Beyond all that will pass

Oh, how great are the riches of His wisdom and knowledge How unsearchable for to Him and through Him and from Him are all things

So let us worship before the throne Of the One who is worthy of worship alone

God is God and I am not I can only see a part of the picture He’s painting God is God and I am not So I’ll never understand it all For only God is God

Africans dressed for a snowstorm

I arrived at the Liberian airport in tears. I pulled myself together to clear security and check-in. Good thing the flight was not full because the airline did not have my reservation. I boarded the plane with a heavy, exhausted heart. I attempted to settle in for the 7 hour flight to Brussels. Full of emotion and wanting to cry, I closed my eyes and started to pray. A few hours later I woke up and enjoyed a lovely airplane meal of rubber lasagna. It actually tasted amazing! With all the packing a good-byes during the day, I had forgotten to eat and I was ravenous. I laughed out loud when I saw a Liberian walking down the aisle wearing a stocking cap and the thickest winter jacket. I looked around the plane and realized all the Africans were dressed for a snowstorm. Bless their hearts! I arrived safely in Brussels and hit my first wave of culture shock. The airport was huge and decorated for Christmas. I missed spring and fall, so it is odd to think Christmas is coming! There were so many white people and none of them were smiling. My travel buddy Karoline and I sat in the corner with small tears forming in our eyes. We smiled when a Liberian women and her small boy approached us. They needed help making a phone call. I resisted the urge to grab the little boy and kiss him all over. Karoline helped the woman and said it was all worth it just to hear her say, “thank-you-oh.” A few hours later, I said good-bye to Karoline and we went our separate ways. It was perfect for Karoline to be the last person I said good-bye to. She was one of the first people I met on the ship. She was from Canada and when we met, we found out we were both nursing graduates from Trinity Western University. We even shared the same favorite professor. Karoline is ending here 3 years of service with Mercy Ships and our last week on the ship; she had the assignment of training me for my role of charge nurse next year. In essence, she is passing me here baton of service. Pray for her as her adjustment will be very difficult. I slept the majority of my 9.5 hour flight to Chicago. I did wake up for all my wonderful airplane meals. I do not know if the quality if airplane food has greatly improved or if my taste buds were really tired and out of shape, but I thought the food was divine! I had grapes! It was awesome. I have really been craving fresh produce and those 7 little grapes were delicious! I cleared US customs and was granted entry back into America! The airport was cold! I had gone from 99* F weather to 32*F in Chicago. My flip-flops were not cutting it. I guess it did not help matters that I made my first meal chocolate milk, a chocolate milkshake, and a crisp salad! The proper milk was incredible. I grew up on powered milk, which I am totally accustomed to, but I never could get used to the boxed room-temperature milk on the ship. I was pumped to have some real milk; I bet my calcium-depleted bones appreciated it too. The shivers that went up and down my spine were worth it as the smooth, milky beverages coated my throat! My lay-over was 6 hours in Chicago. After sobbing on the phone with my parents, I enjoyed a 30 minute massage from a little booth in the airport. I then called some of my best friends on the ship and was blessed to hear their voices. I feel asleep on the plane from Chicago to Salt Lake City, before the airplane took off. I was shivering and the Latin man next to me loaned me his sweatshirt. Even though I was totally out to the world, we spoke in Spanish and I thanked him for the use of his sweatshirt. I might have been dreaming it, but I think he told me my Spanish was fairly good. Oh, the inner conflict of my love for the Latin culture and language, but my growing passions and current call to Africa. God works in mysterious ways. Smelly, weary, and beyond the point of confused, and jet-lagged, I arrived in the arms of my wonderful God-fearing, parents. We quickly snagged my luggage and started the 2.5 hour drive to Idaho. After 39 hours of travel, I arrived at my child-hood home. I stood in the huge, spacious living room of my parent’s home and stared at the wall. I wanted to sleep, eat, use the toilet, shower, run around like crazy, cry, scream, and sleep all at the same time. After a few minutes of indecision, I settled for a shower. I took a 2 minute shower and even shut the water off and on in between the shampooing process. My parents were proud of me. I have learned many good things from living on a ship in Africa! Confused and uncertain of what time it was or which country I was in, I feel asleep thanking God for my African Adventures and that His story with me and adventures for me are not finished yet. More to come.