Work- Work- Work

I wanted to assure all of you that I am okay. I have not been able to write much lately, for that I apologize. I worked an 8 hour day shift on Friday, 7am-7pm on Saturday and Sunday, 9:30 pm- 7:30 am Monday night and I am in the middle of another shift like that right now, with one more shift tomorrow night as well before I get a break. So, basically I have been working and sleeping! I also wanted to thank all of you for your comments on my posts, emails, and the lovely snail mail. The post office told me I am the second most popular recepient of mail on the ship right now. Everyone is so jealous. I am so blessed! I make sure to include my friends when I open mail, they love sharing in the delights from my packages. I also wanted to say how amazing God is. He cares about even the smallest details of our lives. I have worked three sets of nights shifts since I have been here. All of you know the fears and concerns I shared about staying up all night! God has blessed me with strength, alertness, and even pleasure in working nights. Beyond that, God has given me letters in the mail before each set of my night shifts. I have had self control to wait to open my mail so I have a special card to open during the middle of each of my night shifts. I feel this is God looking out for me and showing me he really cares and loves me. So, thanks to each of you who have taken time to send me letters. God is using you to encourage me. Thanks for the snail mail Aunt Joy, Aunt Marilyn, Mom K, Denny and Charlotte, and Mom Z!

Train ride through the bush

A few days ago, I heard about the opportunity to take a two hour train ride through the bush to a town called Bong Mine. I decided I was up for an adventure, so I signed up for the trip. In my small American brain, I pictured a lovely little train car with a red caboose, big windows, cushy chairs, and a mid-travel snack service. I imagined looking out the windows watching the bush/jungle countryside flash past my eyes. As is the truth with many things in life, what we imagine is not often reality. We drove two of the ship's land rovers to the train station ( um, can you call it a train station if it is only a mound of dirt that the train passes?) early in the morning. I expected us to park our vehicles and get on the train. Nope, that wasn't going to happen. Instead, we proceeded to drive our land rovers onto flat beds trailers on the train tracks. We were going to ride on the land rovers that were on the flat bed trailers, that were on the train tracks. Is that confusing? Yup, we made ourselves comfortable on the metal travel racks on top of the land rovers, and settled in for the 2 hour ride. The ride was incredible! The train weaves through the countryside, passing villages, swamp areas, and areas lush with vegetation. The train had an engine and three flat bed trailers, two of which had our Mercy Ships land rovers on them. It was like a white people parade. All the beautiful children and adults ran from their huts to wave at the train. Do you remember how exciting it was to see a train when you were little? Imagine a train with colored people on it (we are the colored people this time). We were a total spectacle. The little kids would jump up and down, waving, and yelling, "White People, White People!" At times the train slowed to drop off rice to the remote villages and the little kids in the town would run to the train. Some of my friends had candy to throw to them. All I had was a bag of Lucky Charms, but I threw it anyway and the kids devoured it. Then the train would start up again and we were on our way. It was awesome, sort of freaky, maybe not the safest way to travel, but incredible. The sun was shining, the day was beautiful, and the breeze in the air felt amazing. At one point during the trip, the train slowed to a stop, next we saw a man from the engine running off the train, with a jar, to the village on the hill. He was gone for a good 45 minutes. Plenty time for the entire village to come to the train tracks. One lady from our group got off the train and told the village children the story of the Wordless Book and about Jesus. When the story was done, the village children started to sing for us, then we sang for them. We took turns going back and forth. We stood on top of the land rover and the train trailer and sang fantastic songs like the "Hokey-Pokey", "Head & Shoulders, Knees & Toes", and "Deep and Wide". The children laughed and laughed. Now that I think about it, we had to look so funny, huge white people dancing and singing from a train. But the smiles we received in return were worth it. About 45 minutes after the man left the train he came back with a liquid in his jar and then the train started and we were off. I think, we may have run out of gas. Who knows. When we reached Bong Mine, we left the train and drove to see the site of the Bong Mines/ iron ore mines. The mines used to be functional and a huge part of the Liberian economy until the war. Now all that remains are the skeletons of mining equipment. Our tour guide also drove us to a huge valley, which he explained had been a mass grave site for thousands of Liberians, that were swept from their villages by the rebels, never to return, but die a horrible death simply for refusing to support the rebel cause. A sobering moment, but hard to grasp as I have never seen such horror, and I pray to God, I never do. May we all learn from history and turn our hearts to God. We toured the rest of the town and had the privilege of touring the local hospital. It was an incredible hospital by African standards. I met some nursing students and encouraged them to keep studying, they were so pleased to meet me, a fellow nurse. I was shocked to learn all the nurses and most of the hospital staff in Liberia work for free. There is no money to pay them. They are working for free, in hopes that they will be some of the first to make money when the economy is at a point to pay workers. Can you imagine? The trip was full of adventure from beginning to end. We managed to get a flat tire on the land rover, but thankfully had a spare. After a long day exploring Bong Mine, we loaded back on the train for the ride home. If any of you doubted my sleeping skills, doubt no more, I managed to sleep on top of the land rover, in the hot sun, with the trail whistle blaring, without a cushy chair, all the way back to Monrovia. I'd be up for another train ride in Africa any day!

Life on the Africa Mercy

I thought it would be good to tell all of you a little more about life on the ship. If you want to feel like you are part of my experience here I have a few suggestions for you to try. 1. Replace all the bedroom doors in your house with curtains 2. Go to bed when you are really tired, have someone tear open the curtain 3 hours after you fall asleep and have them say, "oh, sorry, were you sleeping?" 3. Place a vacuum with the motor running in every room in your house, leave the motor running 24 hours a day 4. Invite 50 people over to your house, serve them breakfast at 0630-0730, lunch at 1200-1:00, and dinner at 5:00-6:30pm every day. Tell them they starve if they do not show up at these times. 5. Practice fire drills with your neighbors once a week. Make sure the fire drill is during the heat of the day in the afternoon. Gather everyone together in a central location, make sure everyone stays outside until everyone is accounted for. 6. Live out of 2 suit cases for 8 months Taking all that into consideration, I would not trade being here. I love it! The ship is fantastic. The air conditioner has only gone out twice since I have been here. The food it very good actually. We eat rice, rice, rice, pork chops, rice, beef, rice, chicken, rice, lamb (I don't eat the lamb), rice, tacos, rice, fruit, rice, vegetables, rice, fish ( I don't eat the fish), and more rice. I eat peanut butter almost every day, but that is because I like it. I did panic for a few weeks because we ran out of peanut butter when the supplies did not arrive from Texas and Holland, but we have a great stock of peanut butter once again. There is a wonderful ship shop and snack bar on board. It is open limited hours, but I have diet Coke and Pepsi whenever I want it. I don't know if I dare disclose the fact that we also have the only Starbucks in Africa on board the ship. For the coffee drinkers having a Starbucks here is amazing, but I don't drink coffee, so it is really no big deal to me. Rumor has it the owner of Starbucks has a link with Mercy Ships, so he donates the products to the ship and the missionaries on the ship pay a small, small price for the drinks. Any one up for a mission trip to join me in Africa, you don't have to give up your coffee. There is an internet cafe on the ship, thus I am able to write to all of you. And we have a few public areas where people can gather and play games, talk, or watch TV. There is an academy on board for the children. The grades taught are preschool through 12th grade. There are 50 children spanning the ages of infant to 17 years old that attend the school. The school follows the American and British school systems. The kids have all the normal classes, even gym class. They use they United Nations field, which borders our dock for their gym classes. Basically, I live in a small community, sort of like Rupert and Paul Idaho! My commute to work is great too, no traffic at all. I thought my 6 minute commute in New Hampshire was great! Well, I hope all of you are well. I will write more later, I have so much to tell you!

Photos and Article for TWU

I finally posted a few more photos. Scroll down to the bottom of the blog to see some pictures! I was also asked to write a brief article for Trinity Western University, where I studied nursing. So, I am including that here as well. It is 0700 hours and shift change has begun. The ward is unnaturally quiet for a hospital. There are no pumps alarming, call bells ringing, pagers beeping, or overhead intercoms announcing. In the corner of the room, someone with a Latin accent is whispering a prayer. Next, a British nurse thanks God for a new day to serve Him. Her thoughts are echoed by a nurse with a Southern drawl. Finally a voice with European brogue asks God to grant strength for the day ahead, comfort for the patients anticipating surgery, wisdom for the doctors, healing from infection, and a spirit of unity, through Christ’s love, for all the nurses. I sit in the circle of nurses quietly reflecting and pondering my surroundings. One month ago I was a postoperative surgical nurse working at a state-of-the-art hospital in North America. Now, I live and work on a floating hospital ship called the Africa Mercy. The ship is docked on the Atlantic Ocean outside of Monrovia, Liberia, Africa. I have joined a group of international volunteers and nurses from over 40 different countries. Our languages and practice methods vary, but our heartbeat is the same. We aim to bring God’s hope and healing to the forgotten poor. Nursing on a hospital ship in Africa is challenging, supplies are limited, modern technology is sparse, the patient population is unique, and the illnesses and needs are intense. But, the spirit on the ward is far from one of defeat and soberness. The absence of modern technology is conquered by innovative creativity, keen assessment, pure compassion, wholehearted service, exuberant joy, selfless love, and relentless faith. Scripture is being fulfilled, the blind have received sight, the lame can walk, the deaf can hear, good news is preached to the poor, and the name of the Lord is being praised. Shift report has finished, my pulse quickens at the anticipation of what I may encounter today. Fear attempts to well up in my heart as I think of my mere 3 years experience as an RN, but then a still small voice inside reminds me that when I am weak He is strong. I take a deep breath, smile, and introduce myself to my beautiful patient with chocolate brown eyes and skin. Laura Ziulkowski RN BSN Mercy Ships Ward Nurse April-November 2008

Answered Prayer & Gifts from God

God answered your prayers and mine. I worked night shifts on Thursday and Friday. I stayed wide awake and enjoyed the shifts. I was preparing mentally and physically for my two remaining night shifts on Saturday and Sunday, but was blessed to be told I was not needed and could have both nights off! Awesome! I was praying God would give me the strength to do what was required of me, never did I imagine He would get me through my night shifts by giving me the time off. Saturday, I spent the majority of the day recovering from my night shifts. In the evening, I had a wonderful time bonding with some of the African guys and my roommate on the ship. We played ping pong-table tennis, aerobic, Olympian style. Did you know you could actually get a cardiac workout playing ping pong? As many of you know, my hand-eye coordination has never been the greatest, but Saturday night, I was in rare form. I played ping pong for hours. My roommate and I played a few rounds of standard ping pong, but then we moved to around-the-world ping pong. In this special style of ping pong, you have 3 or 4 players, one person starts hitting the ball across the net to the other person, but as soon as you hit the ball, you run around the table to the other side to be there when the ball is hit back, you continue to run around and around hitting the ball back and forth. As you can imagine, you can become very dizzy and out of breath. When all the players agree they are dizzy, you switch directions. It is great fun. My roommate and I started this game and gathered a crowd, we soon had the African guys entertained and invited them to join in our silly little marathon around and around the ping pong table. As simple as our game was, it felt great to actually be able to connect with some of the African nationals on the ship. I made 6 new friends (Israel, Jonas, Charles, Renee, Samuel, and John) that night. Yesterday, one of them told me we need to play ping pong again! I have another match planned. Sunday, I was able to attend another local African church. I attended Bethel Sanctuary of Praise. One of the guys I had met while playing ping pong, actually delivered the message at this church. Israel is from Togo, he works with Mercy Ships as the eye field team disciple. He wants to be a pastor and after hearing him preach, he definitely has the gift of preaching and teaching. He spoke about the Lord's Prayer. At the beginning of his sermon, he had all of us recite the Lord's Prayer together. It was so amazing and truly awesome to be in an outdoor church, with lizards running around (that part was not so great), sitting on wooden benches, surrounded by Africans, all reciting from memory the Lord's Prayer. I am still in awe at the faith of the African people and the fact that the Lord I serve in North America, miles away, is the same God these people in the middle of nowhere, know and serve. I am seeing firsthand the truth of the verse in the New Testament that refers to creation revealing evidence of God and no one is without excuse, no matter where you live, it is written in the sky that there is a God. Sunday evening, I enjoyed another evening at the beach. I went with a few of my friends and a family from Holland. Again, it was great to have time to build relationships and connect with some of the people who are long term on the ship. It is at times very difficult to connect with the people who are on the ship as career missionaries. There is such an intense turn-around of people on the ship that building relationships is difficult. I have also sensed that some of the long term people on the ship seem closed to new relationships. It is possible that because of our cultural differences, I perceive them as closed and maybe they are not, or that they are actually protecting themselves from the pain of change and having relationships end and begin so often. You can pray for me to continue to connect with people on the ship and pray for all of us to have the strength and energy to love and invest time with one another. Monday I made another trip to the market. This time my roommate Christina, Theresa, Jane, and I set out on foot for our adventure. We packed our bottles of water and set off for a dander (Irish term for walk) to the market. It takes about 45 mins to walk to the market. We took our time, laughing all the way at the things people shout at us. Can you imagine walking down the road in your town and having someone yell, "oh, white people!" or "hey, I need a women!" Most of the people in town know white people are from Mercy Ships, so they often just yell "hey, Mercy Ships," but yesterday they yelled "hey, Mercy Ships Doctor!" I like that title, I moved from a nurse to a doctor without all the years in school. Sometimes they yell, " Beautiful, over here!" I just laugh and keep walking and comment quietly to my buddies that they need to stop calling me Beautiful because I will get a big head. It was fantastic yesterday when were walking and I heard "Americano, over here". Why I answer to Americano is beyond me, but that is what all my patients call me now, so I am more used to it than Laura. I turned around and saw one of my previous patients. The one who first called me Americano. He was so excited to see me, he invited me into his home/store/old box car, introduced me to all his friends, and told me to sit down while he found some type of gift to thank me. I told him it was not necessary, but he insisted. A few minutes later, he came back with mangos for all my friends and myself. It was so special! I have been working on this blog for days and my thoughts are all over the place, so I have decided to just end here. I am doing well. Can you believe I have been gone for 1 month already! Love all of you! Forgive my poor grammar.

Posting Difficulties

Dear Friends and Family, Someone has mentioned that they are having trouble posting responses to my blog. Please do not give up, keep trying, I love hearing from all of you and want to stay in touch with you. It is always a good idea to copy and paste your post onto another page so that you do not get frustrated if it erases when technology does not go your way. Keep trying! I want to hear from you.

Sister's of Charity Mission

I sat in the center of a small room, five blue metal cribs lined the wall to my right, on my left stood a counter top, a few empty shelves, and a sink. The noise in the room was increasing as another beautiful African baby rounded the corner, followed by a toddler with a runny nose, and a chubby little boy coughing loudly. The number in the room had now reached 11, but more children kept appearing. Some came crawling across the dirty floor, they should be walking by now, but their development is delayed, others toddled in. In my right arm was a frail infant, possibly suffering from Tuberculosis, or HIV, either way, it didn't matter. A bright-eyed girl named Princess, sat on my lap at straddled my waist, resting her weary head on my left shoulder. Behind her, on top of my knee caps sat another boy. He bounced up and down and scooted closer to be within the reach of my touch. The chubby child, Ben, jumped on my back attempting to gain my attention. The words to the childhood song, "head and shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes.. rang throughout the room." I sang aloud as the other children joined in and giggled. Their hopeful eyes and smiles could melt the hardest of hearts. The children all yearned for my attention. The normal attachment response and refusal to be held by a stranger did not exist in these children. They have never been held long enough to develop an attachment with anyone. The children living at Sister's of Charity Mission are orphans. Some ill and suffering from Tuberculosis, some dying of HIV/AIDS, others orphaned. Beautiful is the word that comes to my mind when I think of these children. The time spent with them was not enough, but incredible. We colored, played with toys, painted nails (now there are little African boys with orange toenails), sang, and cuddled. My lap and arms were never empty. We were sitting on the floor when one child started to take off his shirt, another one followed his lead, and the next thing I knew, I was surround by shirtless African babies and children. The noise level started to rise and the children spread out around the room in an oddly,orderly fashion, making a big square around the parameter of the room. I soon understood the reason for this ritual. The Sisters brought in round metal dishes one by one and gave each child his or her own dish. The noise level soon ceased and a gentle clanking of metal on metal resounded around the room as the hungry little children spooned piles of rice into their mouths. Some of the smaller children used their hands with the majority of their rice landing on their bellies. Experience has taught the Sisters that it is easier to mop one floor than wash 25 shirts. I wish you could have seen this site. The picture is locked in my memory and heart. I continued to feed the infant I was holding as I scanned the room. Out of the corner of my eye, I noted Ben, the chubby one, sitting with his arms crossed, he refused to touch his rice. He is plump for an African child, so it is obvious he normally eats. He looked at me and the other white girls in the room. We were all helping feed babies. I soon understood his position. Although he is fully capable of getting the rice on his spoon and into his mouth, he wanted held and the attention we were giving the infants. Bless his heart! His hunger soon increased and he inhaled his rice without our assistance, but we made sure to praise him for his "big boy" behavior. I want to take all these children home with me and love them for the rest of their lives, until their illnesses take them home. As the children were eating, I slipped away into another room filled with cribs. In the corner lay a little boy crying and coughing. He looked at me with heavy eyes. I rubbed his back and softly sang "Jesus loves me this I know...." I heard an echo across the room and looked up to see one of the Sisters folding laundry and singing with me. We spoke no words but understood that we have the same heart. The little one relaxed under my touch and soon fell asleep. I kissed all the babies I could, knowing they may have fungus, lice, or scabies all over their skin, but I pray that God will honor my heart and grant me health as I have "done unto one of the least of these..." I hope to go back to the Sister's of Charity Mission every chance I get. My heart is in that small room with five blue cribs lining the wall.

Good-byes already here...

I have been here for three weeks already! I cannot believe it. Yesterday, I said goodbye to one of my best pals, when you move across the world, meet someone in the airport going to the same place you are, and live on a boat together, you get really tight fast! She arrived the same day I did and her stay has already ended. I am also getting ready to say good-bye to my pal Susie, the ship's eye surgeon. She also arrived when I did and she is heading home to Louisiana on Wednesday. It is crazy how fast time goes, but I may see her again, as she has offered to do Lasix surgery for me for an excellent price! I have also said good-bye to my roommate from Holland and one of my British roommates. But, our tight little cabin family of 6 is becoming more diverse, we added a little taste of Ireland on Saturday. I love meeting new people and learning about their countries. We are making a poster of our favorite words from different countries. It is so funny how the words come up in conversation and how we try to understand what the other person meant. For example, on Saturday, we were getting ready to head to the beach and my roommate from Norway came and simply asked if I was going to wear my swim costume to the beach, or if I was going to put it on there. I couldn't stop laughing. I think all of us should call our bathing suits, swim costumes. Yes, I went to the beach again. It was beautiful! While at the beach I went to buy a soda from the the restaurant/bar. They cashier wanted a smaller bill than a $20, I offered to give them $2.00 in change. I then pulled out quarters, dimes, and nickles. All of the staff at the counter gathered around me. I didn't know what was going on. They asked if they could hold the change, but told me I could not use it. Apparently, Liberia used to use US coin before the war. The people I was talking to had not seen US coins since the war. They said it brought back good memories and asked if they could keep it for a souvenir. It was neat because the quarters I pulled out were the Kansas and Idaho State coins, I was able to tell them I was born in Kansas and lived in Idaho. The workers all got a penny, dime, nickle, and quarter. The were really excited. I asked what happened to all the US coins that had been in Liberia. Businesses started rejecting the money, therefore the coins became worthless and just disappeared out of circulation. Later, a few of the workers came to my table by the beach and asked my name because they wanted to remember who gave them their souvenirs. When I gave the money out as souvenirs, it reminded me of the random time we ran out of trick-or-treating candy and Dad passed out quarters to the kids. The kids at home thought the quarters were weird, but here, they were extremely proud of their new gift. On Sunday, I enjoyed another chance to worship with the local African Church. I went to Jamaica Road Evangelical Church. This church is about a 10 minute walk from the ship. I had been personally invited to attend the church by Musu, one of the local tailors who comes to the ship to make clothing for us. I have been very impressed with Musu's work and have bought a number of items from him, so we have developed a friendship. I was honored that he would ask me to join him at church. A few of my roommates decided to come along, too. Musu met us at our gate to escort us to church. He was wearing a complete suit coat, suit pants, hat, long sleeve dress shirt, and dress shoes. I wore a skirt, short-sleeved shirt, and sandals. Two minutes after I walked off the ship, sweat was literally dripping off every part of my body. I was soaking when I arrived at the church. I have no clue what Musu's suit was made of, but I am surprised he did not have a gallon of water pouring off him. The church service was lovely. This church was smaller than the last one I attended, they had no power point, or sound system, and they sat on benches, some plastic patio chairs, and the babies/children sat on blankets in the back of the church. This church was more like the typical African church you may imagine in your mind. The people were extremely friendly. It is their habit to have 1st time visitors come to the front of the church, announce their name and home country, and then ALL the church members come by singing and dancing, and they shake your hand. I probably shook 100 hands. I felt honored, but gross because sweat was dripping down my face and off my eyelashes as these people shook my hand. The church had an announcement inviting everyone to join for a special celebration service in a few weeks. The church is celebrating their first bathroom/outhouse building completion. If I decide to join this church for my time here, that is definitely a cause for celebration! Can you imagine our churches being at the stage of pure excitement over the fact that God has given the church body funding for a bathroom? It's the little things that matter. The sermon was very interesting and I struggle with its message. The pastor preached a message about God having a purpose for all of us. In America, I would never have doubted or questioned this point and I don't question it now, but in a sense I do. It just boggles my mind to hear a message like this in Africa, amongst a congregation of people who are ill, poor, unemployed, hungry, dirty, thirsty, tired, weary, uneducated, and without opportunity to change their situation. Is God's purpose really for them to live like they do? Amazing how I cannot comprehend this situation, yet all the people at the church listened, nodding in agreement and shouting amen.... Interesting..... This weekend I met the captain of the ship for the first time. I felt honored. His name is Jonhard, he is from the Farrow Islands. I don't know if I spelled that right, but it is a group of islands near Europe. I had never even heard of this location or group of people until Saturday when I met the captain's wife. The group of people that occupy the Farrow Islands have their own government, language, money, industry, and they have been established since the year 800. It just amazes me how God is real and reaches people wherever they are. I am finally recovering from my night shifts and preparing for another marathon of them. This time, I get to work Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night. HOLY COW! I don't even work 4 days in a row at home, let alone nights! Looks like my next few days will be sleeping, working, and more sleeping. Good thing one of my best skills is sleeping. I will keep in touch when I can.

Reality

My heart is very heavy today. I have never been one to hide my feelings or pretend like everything is okay, so I won't start now. This blog is where I leave my thoughts, happy, or sad. Hopefully, most days my thoughts will be happy, but there are days when things are not always sunny. I am physically well, I am not homesick, or seriously having trouble, but I am having difficulties with the reality of life and the entire situation of life in Africa. It is hard to put my thoughts into words. I have had two very intense nursing shifts. I been caring for a young patient with an acute, serious medical condition, but because of limited resources, such as technology, pumps, and doctors, the care this patient needs does not happen quickly. It is as if I am watching a ticking time bomb. Yesterday, I knew something was wrong with my patient, but was helpless to do anything for him. This is very hard to deal with because I am a perfectionist, I give 110% in everything I do and honestly, I can give 200% here and it won't make a difference without certain supplies. This situation leaves me feeling helpless, angry, sad, confused, hurt, and frustrated. I think, if I was working in the USA still, I could have fixed this or that would not have happened. It is hard to adjust to nursing in Africa. And working on the Africa Mercy Ship is very unique in that we speak English, we have modern luxuries like Internet, TV, and chocolate, but things are not the same. So, I feel as if things should happen a certain way on the nursing units, but they don't because we are in Africa and without a lot of modern supplies. If you are lost in what I am saying, don't worry, I am confused myself. I spoke to a wise women (my mom) and we formulated this idea. Nothing really brilliant, but I needed reminded of it. In America, I feel more in control of things, such as patient care and health. I can quickly address issues with medications or technology, so I "feel" like things are okay and I "feel" I am really helping. But, in reality God is in charge of everything. God is in charge of my patients in the USA and my patients here. In the USA I just have more to distract me from that fact and give me a false sense of control. But, at the end of the day, GOD IS IN CONTROL IN AFRICA & NEW HAMPSHIRE, GOD IS IN CONTROL EVERYWHERE. the reality is just more intense when distractions are gone. My roommates and I have been reflecting on the fact that we are thankful God gave us sensitive,caring hearts aware of the pain in the world. But, we have also noted how much easier it is to stay home, it is easier to not have to look the situation in the eye. I thank God that he has given me the heart and desire to make a difference, but man, it sure would be less painful, and intense if I didn't care so much. All that to say, I am learning a lot here already. NO worries. I am eating, sleeping, and I had my first dish of ice cream yesterday. But you can pray for my faith to increase, pray for my head knowledge to connect with my heart knowledge, and pray for me to put aside my idea of how things should work. Love ya!